1243: How to Navigate Money, Marriage, and Shared Ambition With Douglas and Heather Boneparth

“Money is one of those things that people just consider as an afterthought. The older you get and the more responsibilities you have, you start to realize money is a tool, and it's required for health and happiness.”

In this episode, Heather sits down with Douglas and Heather Boneparth to dig into the often uncomfortable but wholly necessary work of talking about finances with your partner. Together, they unpack what really happens beneath the surface when couples avoid money conversations, and how bringing these truths forward can transform the intimacy, teamwork, and emotional safety in your relationship. Explore the stories we inherit around money, why it feels so vulnerable to speak up, and the simple shifts that help you feel like you’re on the same team again.

What to listen for:

• Money is not an afterthought; it’s a tool for cultivating health and happiness

• How Douglas and Heather first understood that they needed to talk about money

• Overcoming the fear of speaking up with your partner about finances

“You’re communicating even when you're not communicating. Your body language, your actions, and the way that you're passive-aggressive about it. You're just failing to say the thing that needs to be said.”

• Opening the door to teamwork and shared responsibility in your relationship

• Letting go of the “Prince Charming is going to save me” and taking ownership

• The importance of acknowledging the impact partners have on one another

“The collective ambition needs to come to life here because you share a life together. You still get to be your own person, but you're playing a team game. Championships are won through team efforts, and this is what collaboration is all about. Your marriage is essentially a collaboration of life, and money is this game that you don't get to opt out of.”

• Why freedom is emotionally uncomfortable and how to navigate that

• The question Douglas and Heather ask every couple to bring them together

• The power of energetic time management and chasing the feeling you’re after

“It's not the thing you want, it's the feeling. You say you want more money, more accolades, another book, this, this, this. Amazing. Take it. But what's the feeling you're after?”

• The importance of valuing the journey as much as you value the end goal

• Benchmarking your money goals and navigating the resistance that comes up

• Understanding that intimacy is directly connected to your financial health

About Douglas and Heather Boneparth:

Heather and Douglas Boneparth are the co-authors of Money Together: How to find fairness in your relationship and become an unstoppable financial team. By day, Douglas Boneparth is a CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER™ and the founder of Bone Fide Wealth in New York City. Heather spent more than a decade as a corporate lawyer before joining the firm as the director of business and legal affairs. They also co-write a weekly newsletter, The Joint Account, which helps couples talk about money.

Connect with Douglas and Heather:

Money Together, available in all formats and at http://www.domoneytogether.com

The Joint Account, available on Substack at https://www.readthejointaccount.com

Bone Fide Wealth, visit https://bonefidewealth.com

Everywhere on social: @averagejoelle + @dougboneparth

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