1276: What My Three Boys [13, 16, 21] Forced Me to Stop Doing Recently
“You cannot make an impact on anybody unless you are willing to change your internal ecosystem.”
In this episode, Heather challenges some of the most deeply rooted assumptions about parenting, leadership, and what it really means to prepare our children for adulthood, especially our boys. She takes an honest look at the emotional dynamics between men and women, how dependence is often learned rather than our inherent nature, and why both sons and daughters benefit when we teach responsibility, communication, and resilience instead of rescuing. At its heart, this episode is an invitation to lead with intention, hold loving boundaries, and recognize that our role as parents doesn't end when our children become adults.
What to listen for:
☑️ Why not everyone has the DNA to go for the next level in their life or work
☑️ Making things happen is actually pretty boring, which is why most people don’t do it
☑️ The biggest lie we’re told is that we’re done parenting when our kids reach 18
“I’ve made the conscious decision that I'm not here to wipe my kids' ass for the rest of their life, but I am here to be their rock, their person, and their guide. When we choose to be a leader to our children, to be the integrator, to support them along this journey, things will change.”
☑️ ‘Independent men’ don’t exist, and what that means for us as women
☑️ Why men haven’t been able to emotionally free themselves from women yet
☑️ All humans struggle; some are just better at communicating it than others
“I had to soften, and the number one thing that I realized is men struggle too. I didn't realize how much they struggle, and I didn't realize how dependent they are on nurturing.”
☑️ Without evidence of what they’re carrying, how do you know you carry more?
☑️ Raising men that understand emotional labor and domestic responsibility
☑️ Understanding resistance and learning how to hold hard boundaries
“I’ve taught them that they can use their voice to communicate what's going on, and that I'm going to actively listen. And not all their problems need to be fixed by me. One of the core wounds that I see women do is needing to fix their behavior.”
☑️ Men learn to be dependent on women based on how they were raised
☑️ Teaching your male children the skills they need to become independent
☑️ Why letting your children have their own identity outside of us is so crucial
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